Managing stress at the workplace
indianexpress Express News Service , The New Indian Express
Updated Jun 04, 2011 at 08:03am IST
We all need some pressure in our working lives --- it makes our work satisfying and helps us to meet deadlines. But too much pressure, without the chance to recover, causes stress.
In a 2006 Health and Safety Executive survey, one in six working people in the UK reported that their job was very or extremely stressful. Work-related stress is one of the biggest causes of sick leave. Workplace stress is different for everyone --- what is stressful for one person may not be stressful for another. It can depend on your personality type and how you have learned to respond to pressure.
Often there is no single cause of work-related stress. Although it can be triggered by sudden, unexpected pressures, it’s often the result of a combination of stressful factors that build up over time.
Symptoms
Work-related stress can cause both physical and emotional health problems. In addition to the obvious emotional symptoms, it can cause you to be more prone to physical symptoms like headaches, muscular tension, backache or neckache, tiredness and sleep problems, digestive problems, a raised heart rate, skin rashes, sweating and blurred vision. Chronic (long-term) stress can also contribute to anxiety and depression, and can even increase your risk of having a heart attack or stroke.
Sort things out
Prioritise tasks, delegate where you can and make sure you don’t take on more work than you can handle. Take regular breaks at work and try to finish one task before starting another. Make sure your work environment is comfortable. If it isn’t, ask for help from your organisation’s health and safety officer. If possible, don’t work long hours --- sometimes projects need extra time, but working long hours over many weeks or months doesn’t generally lead to more or better results at work. Take a look at your relationships with your colleagues --- do you treat each other with respect and consideration? If not, try to find a way to improve relationships with your colleagues.
Talk to your manager
It’s important to talk directly to your manager about work-related stress. He or she has a duty to take reasonable steps to try to resolve the problem. If you find talking about your concerns difficult, it may help to make notes during your discussion. Ask your human resources department how to challenge these policies and make sure you know what support there is for you if you decide to do this.
At home
There are things you can do outside of work to help reduce your stress levels. Try to exercise every day if possible. Exercise helps to use up the stress hormones that cause your symptoms, giving you a sense of well-being and helping your muscles to relax. Even a brisk walk for 30 minutes a day will combat stress.
MY THOUGHTS
In most cases, we are the ones who cause our workplace stress. Stress triggers will always be there-at home and at work. The difference between stressed people and people who seem to be always relaxed is the ability to manage the stressors.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
BE COOL UNDER PRESSURE
How to Train Yourself to Be Cool Under Pressure
By Jessica Stillman | May 10, 2011
Last weekend after giving the okay for special forces soldiers to raid a compound where the world’s most wanted man was believed to be hiding, President Obama straightened his bow tie and went off to roast Donald Trump at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Funny and unruffled, the President gave no indication he was feeling the strain of his momentous decision. He was, in short, a pretty cool customer.
It was an impressive display of calm under pressure and inspires the question — how does he do it? Is the ability to handle stress an innate characteristic like height or eye color, or is it something us mere mortals can learn to do too? According to Justin Menkes, the author of new book Better Under Pressure, the answer is very much the latter. “Attributes have a range of genetic influence and the ability to deal with pressure is on the far side of the continuum in terms of preparation versus genetics. Your ability to deal with stress is overwhelmingly about preparation,” he told Entry-Level Rebel in an interview.
Obama-level coolness is within all of our reach, says Menkes, who reminds young people not to be overawed by cool performances from those in senior positions: “It is indisputable that they can do those highly pressured, extraordinary things that they see the masters do. The masters have been preparing for 40-45 years. Excellent, expert preparation got them there. They weren’t born a star.”
So how do you go about building up nerves of steel? Very much like you would go about building up abs of steel, says Menkes, who recommends a progressive increase in strain for those who want to toughen up. But be warned, like with physical exercise, strengthening your nerve isn’t necessarily comfortable:
There’s no simple A, B, C. You can’t just read books — it’s not like that. It’s not ‘OK, I put a little post-it on my desk for a daily mantra “Remember you’re terrific!”‘ That’s useless. You have to build inside your brain, your consciousness and your stomach a knowing that you can handle it.
You have to put yourself in situations that elevate your sense of stretch, whether it’s a presentation, public speaking or a task that causes you fear like taking lead in a Monday morning meeting. Take initiative on something, but not something that is over your head because what is essential is that your experiences along the way are positive.
If you put yourself in situations that are just so extreme, then the probabilities are you aren’t ready and it can go badly. Then your memory attaches negative experiences to pressure and that doesn’t help. We want you to associate elevated pressure with a confidence that you can handle it, and you do that by elevating the situations of stress where there’s a risk of failure but you’re well enough prepared for it that odds are it’s going to go well. You put yourself in several of those and then you have that internal memory of ‘I can handle pressure.’ And then you keep elevating it.
It may sound like a less than pleasant process, but Menkes insists that becoming a cool customer is key for business leaders of the future. “The biggest distinction in the 21st century is an ongoing elevation of pressure and complexity,” he warns. “That’s not going to go away, so you have to find a way to find it invigorating. The people that will thrive it are those who understand it, accept it and take advantage of it.” Better get practicing then.
MY THOUGHTS
Love. If you want to stretch your patience to limits you cannot even imagine just love. Love your job. Love your boss. Love the people you work with and for. Love Jesus and pray that He will help you love like He did. You can't love this way without Jesus. Your love os self wirll always fight its way into your desire to be calm under pressure.
By Jessica Stillman | May 10, 2011
Last weekend after giving the okay for special forces soldiers to raid a compound where the world’s most wanted man was believed to be hiding, President Obama straightened his bow tie and went off to roast Donald Trump at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Funny and unruffled, the President gave no indication he was feeling the strain of his momentous decision. He was, in short, a pretty cool customer.
It was an impressive display of calm under pressure and inspires the question — how does he do it? Is the ability to handle stress an innate characteristic like height or eye color, or is it something us mere mortals can learn to do too? According to Justin Menkes, the author of new book Better Under Pressure, the answer is very much the latter. “Attributes have a range of genetic influence and the ability to deal with pressure is on the far side of the continuum in terms of preparation versus genetics. Your ability to deal with stress is overwhelmingly about preparation,” he told Entry-Level Rebel in an interview.
Obama-level coolness is within all of our reach, says Menkes, who reminds young people not to be overawed by cool performances from those in senior positions: “It is indisputable that they can do those highly pressured, extraordinary things that they see the masters do. The masters have been preparing for 40-45 years. Excellent, expert preparation got them there. They weren’t born a star.”
So how do you go about building up nerves of steel? Very much like you would go about building up abs of steel, says Menkes, who recommends a progressive increase in strain for those who want to toughen up. But be warned, like with physical exercise, strengthening your nerve isn’t necessarily comfortable:
There’s no simple A, B, C. You can’t just read books — it’s not like that. It’s not ‘OK, I put a little post-it on my desk for a daily mantra “Remember you’re terrific!”‘ That’s useless. You have to build inside your brain, your consciousness and your stomach a knowing that you can handle it.
You have to put yourself in situations that elevate your sense of stretch, whether it’s a presentation, public speaking or a task that causes you fear like taking lead in a Monday morning meeting. Take initiative on something, but not something that is over your head because what is essential is that your experiences along the way are positive.
If you put yourself in situations that are just so extreme, then the probabilities are you aren’t ready and it can go badly. Then your memory attaches negative experiences to pressure and that doesn’t help. We want you to associate elevated pressure with a confidence that you can handle it, and you do that by elevating the situations of stress where there’s a risk of failure but you’re well enough prepared for it that odds are it’s going to go well. You put yourself in several of those and then you have that internal memory of ‘I can handle pressure.’ And then you keep elevating it.
It may sound like a less than pleasant process, but Menkes insists that becoming a cool customer is key for business leaders of the future. “The biggest distinction in the 21st century is an ongoing elevation of pressure and complexity,” he warns. “That’s not going to go away, so you have to find a way to find it invigorating. The people that will thrive it are those who understand it, accept it and take advantage of it.” Better get practicing then.
MY THOUGHTS
Love. If you want to stretch your patience to limits you cannot even imagine just love. Love your job. Love your boss. Love the people you work with and for. Love Jesus and pray that He will help you love like He did. You can't love this way without Jesus. Your love os self wirll always fight its way into your desire to be calm under pressure.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
THE TRUTH ABOUT EMPLOYEE FUN DAY
THE TRUTH ABOUT EMPLOYEE FUN DAY
from the article “Employee Fun Day” Won’t Create Job Satisfaction
By Kelly Goldsmith and Marshall Goldsmith | August 25, 2010
http://www.bnet.com/blog/marshall-goldsmith/-8220employee-fun-day-8221-won-8217t-create-job-satisfaction/131?tag=content;drawer-container
"Over the last year, we surveyed thousands of respondents on their experience of happiness and meaning — both at work and outside of work. While many of our findings were consistent with our expectations, one was a surprise.
We asked respondents to note the percentage of time they spent on activities that produced high amounts of short-term gratification (or happiness) but low amounts of long-term benefit (or meaning). We classified these activities — things like gossiping and watching TV — under the category “stimulating.” Then we conducted an analysis, comparing the number of hours respondents spent on the “stimulating” activities to their overall satisfaction with life at work and at home.
Companies that invest in activities that are supposed to be “fun” but are also meaningless are probably squandering their money and their employees’ time. “Employee fun day” may well be a waste — it only leads to increased cynicism. Most professionals are extremely busy. They don’t need to go to work to be entertained. They can do that at home."
"While a little fun time is great, a lot of it can do more harm than good. Rather than watching another TV show, it might be good if we challenged ourselves by finding ways to help other people in need. Finding meaning can be more important than finding amusement.
As always, we would love to get your thoughts on this topic. What is meaningful for you? How does your own search for meaning lead to higher overall satisfaction with your life?"
MY THOUGHTS
Yes, a little fun won't hurt. A day away from work can do some wonders. Short term. If the bigger issues are not handled, employee fun day becomes meaningless.
from the article “Employee Fun Day” Won’t Create Job Satisfaction
By Kelly Goldsmith and Marshall Goldsmith | August 25, 2010
http://www.bnet.com/blog/marshall-goldsmith/-8220employee-fun-day-8221-won-8217t-create-job-satisfaction/131?tag=content;drawer-container
"Over the last year, we surveyed thousands of respondents on their experience of happiness and meaning — both at work and outside of work. While many of our findings were consistent with our expectations, one was a surprise.
We asked respondents to note the percentage of time they spent on activities that produced high amounts of short-term gratification (or happiness) but low amounts of long-term benefit (or meaning). We classified these activities — things like gossiping and watching TV — under the category “stimulating.” Then we conducted an analysis, comparing the number of hours respondents spent on the “stimulating” activities to their overall satisfaction with life at work and at home.
Companies that invest in activities that are supposed to be “fun” but are also meaningless are probably squandering their money and their employees’ time. “Employee fun day” may well be a waste — it only leads to increased cynicism. Most professionals are extremely busy. They don’t need to go to work to be entertained. They can do that at home."
"While a little fun time is great, a lot of it can do more harm than good. Rather than watching another TV show, it might be good if we challenged ourselves by finding ways to help other people in need. Finding meaning can be more important than finding amusement.
As always, we would love to get your thoughts on this topic. What is meaningful for you? How does your own search for meaning lead to higher overall satisfaction with your life?"
MY THOUGHTS
Yes, a little fun won't hurt. A day away from work can do some wonders. Short term. If the bigger issues are not handled, employee fun day becomes meaningless.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
SPOT A DYSFUNCTIONAL MANAGER
How to Spot a Dysfunctional Manager
By Steve Tobak | December 28, 2009
Does your boss act out and throw tantrums like a spoiled child? Are you afraid to bring up certain hot-button issues in meetings for fear of being humiliated? Does your company’s strategy change weekly? Daily?
These are all signs of a dysfunctional workplace, but you know what? Workplaces don’t become dysfunctional by themselves. People make them that way. More specifically, management people: CEOs, VPs, middle managers, your boss. Know how to spot them? Here’s a handy guide, but there’s a surprise at the end.
20 Ways to Spot a Dysfunctional Manager
1.Rants like a raving lunatic.
2.Tells you to do something you don’t want to do, blames you when it goes south.
3.Freaks out over nothing, but when disaster strikes, becomes eerily calm.
4.Says she wants you to take responsibility, then publicly overrides your decisions.
5.Intimidates with aggressive words and posture, backs down like a wimp when confronted by a bigger bully.
6.Spends more time covering his ass than he does sitting on it.
7.Verbally approves new requisitions, later denies doing it, aka selective memory.
8.Laughs uncomfortably at inappropriate times.
9.Makes hallway decisions that affect your group … when you’re not there.
10.A single data point sends him off in a completely new direction.
11.Gives in when pushed into a corner, then does what she wants anyway, aka passive aggressive.
12.Swoops into meetings and takes over.
13.Revels in the invention of creative curses for just the right occasion.
14.Gets way, way too personal.
15.Sticks you right in the middle of feuds with his peers.
16.Rides you mercilessly while pet employees can do no wrong.
17.Fanatically obsessive about minutia.
18.Always right: when confronted with mistakes, blames them on someone else.
19.Fiercely protective of dumb pet projects.
20.At the first sign of trouble throws allies under the bus.
Well, those are my 20, but I’m sure you’ve got a lot more of your own. Let’s hear ‘em.
Almost forgot, I promised you a surprise at the end. Well, you know how I know all this about dysfunctional managers? Well, not only have I observed all this behavior in others, but I’ve done half of this stuff myself! Top that for honesty.
MY THOUGHTS
Same here. Same here. Who hasn't done 1 or 2. Maybe 3. But if you're doing all of them, time to make a turn - 90, 180, 360.
By Steve Tobak | December 28, 2009
Does your boss act out and throw tantrums like a spoiled child? Are you afraid to bring up certain hot-button issues in meetings for fear of being humiliated? Does your company’s strategy change weekly? Daily?
These are all signs of a dysfunctional workplace, but you know what? Workplaces don’t become dysfunctional by themselves. People make them that way. More specifically, management people: CEOs, VPs, middle managers, your boss. Know how to spot them? Here’s a handy guide, but there’s a surprise at the end.
20 Ways to Spot a Dysfunctional Manager
1.Rants like a raving lunatic.
2.Tells you to do something you don’t want to do, blames you when it goes south.
3.Freaks out over nothing, but when disaster strikes, becomes eerily calm.
4.Says she wants you to take responsibility, then publicly overrides your decisions.
5.Intimidates with aggressive words and posture, backs down like a wimp when confronted by a bigger bully.
6.Spends more time covering his ass than he does sitting on it.
7.Verbally approves new requisitions, later denies doing it, aka selective memory.
8.Laughs uncomfortably at inappropriate times.
9.Makes hallway decisions that affect your group … when you’re not there.
10.A single data point sends him off in a completely new direction.
11.Gives in when pushed into a corner, then does what she wants anyway, aka passive aggressive.
12.Swoops into meetings and takes over.
13.Revels in the invention of creative curses for just the right occasion.
14.Gets way, way too personal.
15.Sticks you right in the middle of feuds with his peers.
16.Rides you mercilessly while pet employees can do no wrong.
17.Fanatically obsessive about minutia.
18.Always right: when confronted with mistakes, blames them on someone else.
19.Fiercely protective of dumb pet projects.
20.At the first sign of trouble throws allies under the bus.
Well, those are my 20, but I’m sure you’ve got a lot more of your own. Let’s hear ‘em.
Almost forgot, I promised you a surprise at the end. Well, you know how I know all this about dysfunctional managers? Well, not only have I observed all this behavior in others, but I’ve done half of this stuff myself! Top that for honesty.
MY THOUGHTS
Same here. Same here. Who hasn't done 1 or 2. Maybe 3. But if you're doing all of them, time to make a turn - 90, 180, 360.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Are you in danger of "Karo-shi"
Fight stress, stay healthy
By Lisa Hansen
Posted: 03/23/2011 11:30:46 AM PDT
http://www.redbluffdailynews.com/business/ci_17682522
The Japanese concept of "Karo-shi" can almost literally be translated as "death from overwork." The term first came into common usage in Japan during the 1980s after rising concern following the sudden death of several high-ranking business men who showed no signs of previous health issues. "Karo¯shi" has been attributed to a wide variety of stress-related medical issues, such as high blood pressure, heart attack, and stroke, to name a few.
There have been extensive studies on the effects of stress on a workforce's overall health and well being. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), 54% of workers are concerned about health problems due to stress. And, Express Employment Professionals' recent Hiring Trends survey showed that 88% of company leaders say their current work stress is as high or higher than last year. It's a serious problem that companies and their employees are being forced to address.
So, how do you reduce workplace stress? There are a wide variety of techniques and countless books about eliminating stress in your life. But, the first and most important step is to know the warning signs of stress, which can vary between individuals. In a recent APA study, some of the most common indicators of excessive stress included fatigue, irritability, lack of interest or motivation, head and stomach aches, and insomnia. So it's important to find a stress reducing activity that best fits your symptoms and lifestyle to help eliminate tension and keep you healthy and happy.
Take short breaks
The human body wasn't made to sit in one position and stare at a computer screen for eight hours a day. Make it a point to stand up and take a quick walk around the office every hour or two. Go grab a small, healthy snack. Say hello to a coworker. Or simply just stand up at your desk and stretch. Find a quick and simple activity you can do throughout the day to get your body moving and break up the monotony. Make simple lifestyle changes
Get some exercise
Exercise can do wonders for your stress and anxiety levels. Just a half-hour a day a few times a week can make a huge difference in your stress level. The important part is finding an activity you enjoy so you don't think of it as something you have to do. Whether it's as simple as a walk through a local park, swimming laps at the gym, or taking a yoga class, a little bit of activity can go a long way.
Use your vacation time
If you have vacation time, don't be afraid to use it. Taking a few days here and there to escape the daily grind of the work week is one of the best ways to recharge your mind and body. If you're a leader at your company, it's also important to keep a close eye on the overall stress levels of your employees. When you do notice a spike in stress, act quickly. There are a variety of tactics you can use to help ease some of the tension. You just need to be aware and understand what causes the build up in stress and then act accordingly.
Some examples of changes you can make on an organizational level to reduce stress could include:
- Redistribute employee workloads or hire new full-time or temporary workers to help take some of the burden off your current employees' shoulders.
- Provide opportunities for fun and bonding outside of work.
- Open the lines of communication to be sure your employees understand their jobs and why they are important.
- Allow your employees to participate in discussions and decision making that affect the business.
- Help your employees define development goals to help guide their careers in the right direction.
The impact of stress on health and well being can be profound and indiscriminate. Employees at all levels are prone to developing stress-related illnesses, and those who choose to deal with the issue head on are the ones who stand the best chance of overcoming it.
---------
Lisa Hansen is the owner of Express Employment Professionals, 243 S. Main St. in Red Bluff. The Red Bluff office, at 243 S. Main St., is taking applications. Businesses seeking employees may call 527-0727 or visit the Express website at www.expresspros.com.
Return to Top
MY THOUGHTS
The trick is in recognizing the early signs of work stress and doing something about it immediately. Work stress becomes harder and harder to deal with as it becomes more serious.
By Lisa Hansen
Posted: 03/23/2011 11:30:46 AM PDT
http://www.redbluffdailynews.com/business/ci_17682522
The Japanese concept of "Karo-shi" can almost literally be translated as "death from overwork." The term first came into common usage in Japan during the 1980s after rising concern following the sudden death of several high-ranking business men who showed no signs of previous health issues. "Karo¯shi" has been attributed to a wide variety of stress-related medical issues, such as high blood pressure, heart attack, and stroke, to name a few.
There have been extensive studies on the effects of stress on a workforce's overall health and well being. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), 54% of workers are concerned about health problems due to stress. And, Express Employment Professionals' recent Hiring Trends survey showed that 88% of company leaders say their current work stress is as high or higher than last year. It's a serious problem that companies and their employees are being forced to address.
So, how do you reduce workplace stress? There are a wide variety of techniques and countless books about eliminating stress in your life. But, the first and most important step is to know the warning signs of stress, which can vary between individuals. In a recent APA study, some of the most common indicators of excessive stress included fatigue, irritability, lack of interest or motivation, head and stomach aches, and insomnia. So it's important to find a stress reducing activity that best fits your symptoms and lifestyle to help eliminate tension and keep you healthy and happy.
Take short breaks
The human body wasn't made to sit in one position and stare at a computer screen for eight hours a day. Make it a point to stand up and take a quick walk around the office every hour or two. Go grab a small, healthy snack. Say hello to a coworker. Or simply just stand up at your desk and stretch. Find a quick and simple activity you can do throughout the day to get your body moving and break up the monotony. Make simple lifestyle changes
Get some exercise
Exercise can do wonders for your stress and anxiety levels. Just a half-hour a day a few times a week can make a huge difference in your stress level. The important part is finding an activity you enjoy so you don't think of it as something you have to do. Whether it's as simple as a walk through a local park, swimming laps at the gym, or taking a yoga class, a little bit of activity can go a long way.
Use your vacation time
If you have vacation time, don't be afraid to use it. Taking a few days here and there to escape the daily grind of the work week is one of the best ways to recharge your mind and body. If you're a leader at your company, it's also important to keep a close eye on the overall stress levels of your employees. When you do notice a spike in stress, act quickly. There are a variety of tactics you can use to help ease some of the tension. You just need to be aware and understand what causes the build up in stress and then act accordingly.
Some examples of changes you can make on an organizational level to reduce stress could include:
- Redistribute employee workloads or hire new full-time or temporary workers to help take some of the burden off your current employees' shoulders.
- Provide opportunities for fun and bonding outside of work.
- Open the lines of communication to be sure your employees understand their jobs and why they are important.
- Allow your employees to participate in discussions and decision making that affect the business.
- Help your employees define development goals to help guide their careers in the right direction.
The impact of stress on health and well being can be profound and indiscriminate. Employees at all levels are prone to developing stress-related illnesses, and those who choose to deal with the issue head on are the ones who stand the best chance of overcoming it.
---------
Lisa Hansen is the owner of Express Employment Professionals, 243 S. Main St. in Red Bluff. The Red Bluff office, at 243 S. Main St., is taking applications. Businesses seeking employees may call 527-0727 or visit the Express website at www.expresspros.com.
Return to Top
MY THOUGHTS
The trick is in recognizing the early signs of work stress and doing something about it immediately. Work stress becomes harder and harder to deal with as it becomes more serious.
CRYING AT WORK?
The delicate rules of the crying game
Tears at the office are growing more acceptable — for certain reasons and at certain times.
By Joe Castaldo
When Anne Kreamer answered a phone call from media mogul Sumner Redstone a few years ago, she was not expecting to end up in tears. Kreamer, then senior vice-president of consumer products at a subsidiary of Redstone's Viacom, was in her office celebrating with colleagues a recent business deal. Redstone wasn't calling to congratulate them, but rather to berate Kreamer for failing to move the company's share price. She quickly brought the gathering to an end, shooed her co-workers away, and cried.
Reflecting on the incident, Kreamer, who has just completed a book about emotion in the workplace, says she wouldn't be so quick to dismiss her colleagues today. "I probably would allow people to see that I was upset, and figure out a way to share a little bit," she says. That's because she's come to believe that crying at work, one of the great office taboos, should not be considered the personal and professional failing many believe it to be. Not only do those who have wept in the office report feeling shame afterward, but the general perception of people who cry is that they are unreliable and ill-equipped to handle stress. Some surveys indicate workers believe criers to be manipulative. Clearly, blubbering in front of colleagues could hurt your career prospects.
The issue is particularly relevant for women, who cry more often than men. In a survey of 700 Americans conducted by Kreamer and advertising firm J. Walter Thompson for her book, It's Always Personal (out next month), 41% of women admitted to shedding tears at work at least once over the previous 12 months, compared to just 9% of men. But women were just as quick as men to denounce weepers. In the poll, 43% of women said criers are "unstable."
There are sociological and biological reasons why women become teary-eyed more often than men. Women produce more prolactin, a hormone believed to play a role in crying. Women's tear ducts and even the viscosity of their tears are also more conducive to crying. Some researchers posit that women tend to shed tears in response to anger, whereas men will scream and yell. Yet neither response — tears or anger — is considered appropriate for women in the workplace, according to a study in the Journal of Organizational Behavior. Study participants said men who show anger can make decent leaders, but deemed women who display anger or sadness to have less leadership potential.
The underpinnings of crying and our responses to it make the stigma weigh more heavily on women than men. But awareness of these factors, says Kreamer, can lead to a more compassionate environment. "Women are now 50% of the workforce, so this gives us an opportunity to step back and ask if we can bring more of our authentic selves to the workplace."
Still, changing attitudes is tough. In a soon-to-be-published study, Kimberly Elsbach, a professor in the Graduate School of Management at University of California–Davis, found through interviews with 65 professionals that there are "right" and "wrong" ways to cry at work, and knowing the difference can be essential to a successful career.
Colleagues are most tolerant of a co-worker who is upset about a personal issue, such as a death in the family, Elsbach has found. Surprisingly, crying in response to critical feedback will not damage your reputation so long as it appears the feedback is getting through. A sobfest caused by workplace stress also doesn't seriously hurt your stature — but only if the episode does not affect the work of others and is done in relative privacy. But crying during a meeting — especially if you're the one in charge or your tears become disruptive — is a major no-no, causing a big blow to your credibility. In short, shedding a few tears is tolerated if no one else is inconvenienced.
That said, there may be times when it's not possible to hold back tears in front of colleagues. When that happens, damage control becomes necessary, says Lois Frankel, an executive coach in California. Frankel suggests e-mailing or talking directly to the witnesses to apologize for causing any discomfort, and simply admit your emotions got the better of you. "That's what people want to know: that you recognize what happened, and that you're working on it," she says.
Frankel, like Kreamer, believes that more tolerance in these situations can ultimately lead to a better work environment, but she is a business owner herself. An episode of public crying is acceptable — once. But repeated breakdowns are distracting and might indicate larger personal or professional problems. "There comes a point where I say, this needs to be fixed, or this person has to leave," says Frankel. "If the tears keep coming, maybe it's the wrong workplace for you."
MY THOUGHTS
I guess it depends on why the person is crying. And where and with whom. And how often. You certainly don't want to work with a cry baby.
Tears at the office are growing more acceptable — for certain reasons and at certain times.
By Joe Castaldo
When Anne Kreamer answered a phone call from media mogul Sumner Redstone a few years ago, she was not expecting to end up in tears. Kreamer, then senior vice-president of consumer products at a subsidiary of Redstone's Viacom, was in her office celebrating with colleagues a recent business deal. Redstone wasn't calling to congratulate them, but rather to berate Kreamer for failing to move the company's share price. She quickly brought the gathering to an end, shooed her co-workers away, and cried.
Reflecting on the incident, Kreamer, who has just completed a book about emotion in the workplace, says she wouldn't be so quick to dismiss her colleagues today. "I probably would allow people to see that I was upset, and figure out a way to share a little bit," she says. That's because she's come to believe that crying at work, one of the great office taboos, should not be considered the personal and professional failing many believe it to be. Not only do those who have wept in the office report feeling shame afterward, but the general perception of people who cry is that they are unreliable and ill-equipped to handle stress. Some surveys indicate workers believe criers to be manipulative. Clearly, blubbering in front of colleagues could hurt your career prospects.
The issue is particularly relevant for women, who cry more often than men. In a survey of 700 Americans conducted by Kreamer and advertising firm J. Walter Thompson for her book, It's Always Personal (out next month), 41% of women admitted to shedding tears at work at least once over the previous 12 months, compared to just 9% of men. But women were just as quick as men to denounce weepers. In the poll, 43% of women said criers are "unstable."
There are sociological and biological reasons why women become teary-eyed more often than men. Women produce more prolactin, a hormone believed to play a role in crying. Women's tear ducts and even the viscosity of their tears are also more conducive to crying. Some researchers posit that women tend to shed tears in response to anger, whereas men will scream and yell. Yet neither response — tears or anger — is considered appropriate for women in the workplace, according to a study in the Journal of Organizational Behavior. Study participants said men who show anger can make decent leaders, but deemed women who display anger or sadness to have less leadership potential.
The underpinnings of crying and our responses to it make the stigma weigh more heavily on women than men. But awareness of these factors, says Kreamer, can lead to a more compassionate environment. "Women are now 50% of the workforce, so this gives us an opportunity to step back and ask if we can bring more of our authentic selves to the workplace."
Still, changing attitudes is tough. In a soon-to-be-published study, Kimberly Elsbach, a professor in the Graduate School of Management at University of California–Davis, found through interviews with 65 professionals that there are "right" and "wrong" ways to cry at work, and knowing the difference can be essential to a successful career.
Colleagues are most tolerant of a co-worker who is upset about a personal issue, such as a death in the family, Elsbach has found. Surprisingly, crying in response to critical feedback will not damage your reputation so long as it appears the feedback is getting through. A sobfest caused by workplace stress also doesn't seriously hurt your stature — but only if the episode does not affect the work of others and is done in relative privacy. But crying during a meeting — especially if you're the one in charge or your tears become disruptive — is a major no-no, causing a big blow to your credibility. In short, shedding a few tears is tolerated if no one else is inconvenienced.
That said, there may be times when it's not possible to hold back tears in front of colleagues. When that happens, damage control becomes necessary, says Lois Frankel, an executive coach in California. Frankel suggests e-mailing or talking directly to the witnesses to apologize for causing any discomfort, and simply admit your emotions got the better of you. "That's what people want to know: that you recognize what happened, and that you're working on it," she says.
Frankel, like Kreamer, believes that more tolerance in these situations can ultimately lead to a better work environment, but she is a business owner herself. An episode of public crying is acceptable — once. But repeated breakdowns are distracting and might indicate larger personal or professional problems. "There comes a point where I say, this needs to be fixed, or this person has to leave," says Frankel. "If the tears keep coming, maybe it's the wrong workplace for you."
MY THOUGHTS
I guess it depends on why the person is crying. And where and with whom. And how often. You certainly don't want to work with a cry baby.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
WAYS TO RELAX AT WORK
Stress Management: 5 Ways to Relax at Work
By Amy Levin-Epstein | Mar 31, 2011
Almost by definition, work is stressful — that’s why God (and/or HR) created vacation days. And these days, workplace anxiety is being felt at record high rates. “People, no matter what income levels, are feeling pinched,” says relaxation expert Darren Zeer, who has worked with companies like Maidenform and Del Monte Foods to ease employee stress. “Between the bad economy, smaller staffs and employment insecurity, it’s a brutal combination.”
From crazy clients to time-consuming conference calls, it’s easy to get worked up at work. Here are some great tips that will help you instantly feel better on the job, so you’ll be healthier and more productive:
Sip Chamomile Tea
A coffee break might put a pep in your step, but herbal tea will keep you calmer - and chamomile extract, in particular, has been shown to reduce anxiety. Bonus points if you take a quick walk to the corner deli to pick it up while getting some fresh air.
Clear Out Clutter
How clean is your desk? An organized workspace can keep you focused. “Having a clutter-free workspace means there’s no stress hunting down needed items, so time is spent more productively,” says professional organizer Sally Allen, CEO of A Place for Everything. Her advice: Keep the things you work on daily on top of your desk, the things you work on weekly in your desk, and the things you work on monthly around your desk. Everything else? Toss it.
Do a Desk Stretch
You can treat tension instantly with office yoga — but no need to go straight into Downward-Facing Dog. Zeer says a client favorite is his “Kick-back Log-on Pose.” To try: Interlace your fingers behind your head. Relax your elbows and shoulders. Smile, breathe, and stretch your elbows back. Let the tightness release slowly, and repeat throughout the day.
Feng Shui Your Bag or Briefcase
At a meeting and looking for your notes? If your bag is filled with old receipts, wrappers and other refuse, you are more likely to get distracted and make mistakes — and that’s certainly stressful. It’s time to start thinking of your purse or briefcase as a field bag, says Zeer: “Make sure you are well equipped for your meetings, and have your briefcase fully stocked with extra cell-phone batteries, a snack, and water. Empty out old material that is not needed,” he says. Another way to stay relaxed and motivated? “On the inside of your briefcase you can tape a picture of loved ones or an inspiring message for reassurance on the road,” he says.
Watch a Silly YouTube Video
Remember when The Office’s Michael Scott called himself the “King of Forwards”? That might actually have been good business sense, say some experts. Laughter — like the kind that comes after watching a dog skateboarding on YouTube — can improve mood and immune function and even lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels, according to researchers from Loma Linda University. “Go online and look up jokes for a minute or two. This allows for a change in your physiology,” says study author Lee Berk, DrPH.
Have any other suggestions on lowering office stress? Please sign in below and share. And for more career advice, follow @MWOnTheJob on Twitter.
MY THOUGHTS
I am vouching for all these tips. They all work. A quick coffee break can help me relax but I agree that chamomile tea is a better choice. Walking around the block also does the trick for me. Knowing where everything is (almost everything, anyway) is a great time management tool. And the more successful you are in managing your time, the less stressed you would be. The best de-stressor, of course, is having a good laugh. Alone or with others-it really doesn't matter. What's important is you laugh your problems off without forgetting that the problems need to be dealt with.
By Amy Levin-Epstein | Mar 31, 2011
Almost by definition, work is stressful — that’s why God (and/or HR) created vacation days. And these days, workplace anxiety is being felt at record high rates. “People, no matter what income levels, are feeling pinched,” says relaxation expert Darren Zeer, who has worked with companies like Maidenform and Del Monte Foods to ease employee stress. “Between the bad economy, smaller staffs and employment insecurity, it’s a brutal combination.”
From crazy clients to time-consuming conference calls, it’s easy to get worked up at work. Here are some great tips that will help you instantly feel better on the job, so you’ll be healthier and more productive:
Sip Chamomile Tea
A coffee break might put a pep in your step, but herbal tea will keep you calmer - and chamomile extract, in particular, has been shown to reduce anxiety. Bonus points if you take a quick walk to the corner deli to pick it up while getting some fresh air.
Clear Out Clutter
How clean is your desk? An organized workspace can keep you focused. “Having a clutter-free workspace means there’s no stress hunting down needed items, so time is spent more productively,” says professional organizer Sally Allen, CEO of A Place for Everything. Her advice: Keep the things you work on daily on top of your desk, the things you work on weekly in your desk, and the things you work on monthly around your desk. Everything else? Toss it.
Do a Desk Stretch
You can treat tension instantly with office yoga — but no need to go straight into Downward-Facing Dog. Zeer says a client favorite is his “Kick-back Log-on Pose.” To try: Interlace your fingers behind your head. Relax your elbows and shoulders. Smile, breathe, and stretch your elbows back. Let the tightness release slowly, and repeat throughout the day.
Feng Shui Your Bag or Briefcase
At a meeting and looking for your notes? If your bag is filled with old receipts, wrappers and other refuse, you are more likely to get distracted and make mistakes — and that’s certainly stressful. It’s time to start thinking of your purse or briefcase as a field bag, says Zeer: “Make sure you are well equipped for your meetings, and have your briefcase fully stocked with extra cell-phone batteries, a snack, and water. Empty out old material that is not needed,” he says. Another way to stay relaxed and motivated? “On the inside of your briefcase you can tape a picture of loved ones or an inspiring message for reassurance on the road,” he says.
Watch a Silly YouTube Video
Remember when The Office’s Michael Scott called himself the “King of Forwards”? That might actually have been good business sense, say some experts. Laughter — like the kind that comes after watching a dog skateboarding on YouTube — can improve mood and immune function and even lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels, according to researchers from Loma Linda University. “Go online and look up jokes for a minute or two. This allows for a change in your physiology,” says study author Lee Berk, DrPH.
Have any other suggestions on lowering office stress? Please sign in below and share. And for more career advice, follow @MWOnTheJob on Twitter.
MY THOUGHTS
I am vouching for all these tips. They all work. A quick coffee break can help me relax but I agree that chamomile tea is a better choice. Walking around the block also does the trick for me. Knowing where everything is (almost everything, anyway) is a great time management tool. And the more successful you are in managing your time, the less stressed you would be. The best de-stressor, of course, is having a good laugh. Alone or with others-it really doesn't matter. What's important is you laugh your problems off without forgetting that the problems need to be dealt with.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
SHOULDER AND NECK PAIN SOLUTIONS
The Computer Hunch: Shoulder and Neck Pain Solutions
By Gretchen Reynolds
O, The Oprah Magazine | From the April 2010 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
Have long hours spent slumped over your computer turned you into the office hunchback? Here's how to work out the kinks.
Amy Markham was once an endurance athlete, running marathons and cycling long distances. Then, at the age of 37, she took a new job as director of admissions at a small liberal arts college in Massachusetts. Her new sport was hunching over her keyboard. At first the pain barely registered, but the tension in her neck and shoulders eventually became so severe that it was sometimes impossible to turn her head, shrug on clothes, or even type. While Markham's pain was extreme, the circumstances that led to it are not uncommon.
As many as 63 percent of all office workers will suffer from neck pain sometime this year, with women at particular risk, according to a recent comprehensive review of neck pain studies. Poor posture is partly to blame; the ever-increasing dependence on computers doesn't help, either. Happily, some relatively simple exercises can help.
5 moves that reduce neck pain and increase neck strength
A study published in the Journal of Applied Physiology found that the five moves below dramatically reduced neck pain and increased neck strength in female office workers. For the best results, complete at least three sessions a week. (A session consists of three sets of three of the moves listed here; for each set, repeat the exercise ten to 12 times.)
1. Shoulder Shrug
Stand, holding a pair of two-pound dumbbells at your sides. Keeping your neck straight, slowly lift up your shoulders toward your ears and lower them again. Repeat.
2. One-Arm Row
With a dumbbell in your left hand, stand at the left side of a knee-high workout bench. Set your right knee on the bench and bend at the waist, setting your right palm on the front of the bench for balance. Your left arm should be straight, palm facing in, with the weight hanging toward the ground. Slowly pull up the weight toward your chest, then gently lower and repeat. Switch sides and repeat with the opposite arm.
3. Upright Row
Stand holding a weight in each hand, resting the weights on your thighs, palms facing your body. Bending at the elbows, slowly lift up the dumbbells to chest height (your elbows should point slightly up, not straight out to either side). Keep the weights close to your body and your neck relaxed and straight. Lower gently and repeat.
4. Reverse Fly
Reposition your bench so it's at a 45-degree angle to the floor. With a weight in each hand, straddle the seat and press your chest against the raised end of the bench. Extend your arms toward the floor, palms facing in. Keeping your elbows slightly bent, extend the weights out to your sides until your arms are parallel to the floor. Slowly lower and repeat.
5. Shoulder Abduction
Stand holding the weights at your sides, pressed against your thighs. With your elbows slightly bent, extend the weights out to your sides until your arms are parallel to the floor, palms down. Keep your neck straight and relaxed. In a smooth motion, lower and repeat.
Create a perfect workstation for mind and body.
MY THOUGHTS
something to plan for. i have the perennial neck and back problems because of working 8-12 hours a day. meaning,i have the computer hunch syndrome. massage works short term. you start working and in a day or two the pain's back. hope this exercises help.
By Gretchen Reynolds
O, The Oprah Magazine | From the April 2010 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
Have long hours spent slumped over your computer turned you into the office hunchback? Here's how to work out the kinks.
Amy Markham was once an endurance athlete, running marathons and cycling long distances. Then, at the age of 37, she took a new job as director of admissions at a small liberal arts college in Massachusetts. Her new sport was hunching over her keyboard. At first the pain barely registered, but the tension in her neck and shoulders eventually became so severe that it was sometimes impossible to turn her head, shrug on clothes, or even type. While Markham's pain was extreme, the circumstances that led to it are not uncommon.
As many as 63 percent of all office workers will suffer from neck pain sometime this year, with women at particular risk, according to a recent comprehensive review of neck pain studies. Poor posture is partly to blame; the ever-increasing dependence on computers doesn't help, either. Happily, some relatively simple exercises can help.
5 moves that reduce neck pain and increase neck strength
A study published in the Journal of Applied Physiology found that the five moves below dramatically reduced neck pain and increased neck strength in female office workers. For the best results, complete at least three sessions a week. (A session consists of three sets of three of the moves listed here; for each set, repeat the exercise ten to 12 times.)
1. Shoulder Shrug
Stand, holding a pair of two-pound dumbbells at your sides. Keeping your neck straight, slowly lift up your shoulders toward your ears and lower them again. Repeat.
2. One-Arm Row
With a dumbbell in your left hand, stand at the left side of a knee-high workout bench. Set your right knee on the bench and bend at the waist, setting your right palm on the front of the bench for balance. Your left arm should be straight, palm facing in, with the weight hanging toward the ground. Slowly pull up the weight toward your chest, then gently lower and repeat. Switch sides and repeat with the opposite arm.
3. Upright Row
Stand holding a weight in each hand, resting the weights on your thighs, palms facing your body. Bending at the elbows, slowly lift up the dumbbells to chest height (your elbows should point slightly up, not straight out to either side). Keep the weights close to your body and your neck relaxed and straight. Lower gently and repeat.
4. Reverse Fly
Reposition your bench so it's at a 45-degree angle to the floor. With a weight in each hand, straddle the seat and press your chest against the raised end of the bench. Extend your arms toward the floor, palms facing in. Keeping your elbows slightly bent, extend the weights out to your sides until your arms are parallel to the floor. Slowly lower and repeat.
Stand holding the weights at your sides, pressed against your thighs. With your elbows slightly bent, extend the weights out to your sides until your arms are parallel to the floor, palms down. Keep your neck straight and relaxed. In a smooth motion, lower and repeat.
Create a perfect workstation for mind and body.
MY THOUGHTS
something to plan for. i have the perennial neck and back problems because of working 8-12 hours a day. meaning,i have the computer hunch syndrome. massage works short term. you start working and in a day or two the pain's back. hope this exercises help.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
HOW TO DEAL WITH A NARCISSIST
How to Deal with the Office Narcissist
By Jessica Stillman | March 2, 2010
Poets might be known for their higher than average incidence of depression, but the world of business is famous for attracting those with another sort of psychological disorder; “psychologists have studied narcissistic traits in actors, chief executives and politicians, where such tendencies are all but built into the job description,” reports the NY Times.
What exactly is narcissism? According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association, the diagnosis involves, “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration and lack of empathy… a grandiose sense of self-importance.”
Of course, most cubicle dwellers are normal, empathetic people, but your chances of running into a narcissist is probably higher among high achieving business leaders than, say, at a convention of dentists or pre-school teachers. So how do you handle a narcissistic colleague or client when you meet one? A blog post by Karen Leland on Web Worker Daily offers five tips from Connie Dieken, author of the book Talk Less, Say More:
* Give them options. Beneath their bluster, narcissistic people fear being left out of the loop. They crave control. It’s far better to offer them options to choose from, rather than feeding them ready-made decisions. They’ll tear other people’s decisions to shreds. Giving them options helps them feel respected and in control. It also prevents nasty hissy fits.
* Focus on solutions, not problems. When you explain a problem or a challenge to a narcissist, direct their attention to the solution. Don’t allow them to dissect the problem over and over again. Narcissists love drama and revel in the chaos. They’re easily agitated when frustrated. Define problems and present possible solutions, so they don’t smell blood in the water and tear you apart.
* Make them the hero. Narcissists are preoccupied with power and truly believe they are special and unique. They live for attention and admiration. Want them to do something? Tell them how great they are at it and watch them perform. Better yet, praise their performance in front of others. Just keep it real, please.
* Let them think it’s their idea. Narcissists often steal the credit for ideas that aren’t theirs. Why do they do that? Strangely, they truly believe that hijacked results are their own. Grabbing credit is a driving force for them. If this gets things done, I say learn to live with it. Over time, everyone will catch on — wink, wink. Meantime, graciously transferring credit for ideas to them makes things happen.
* Manage their emotional blind spot. Egomaniacs lack empathy. They’re so caught up in their own world that it doesn’t occur to them to consider your feelings or viewpoints. It’s a huge blind spot. You must put your own feelings on the table, if you choose to do so. Just be smart about sharing feelings with a narcissist. Brace yourself for the guilt trips and disparaging criticism that narcissists often dole out when others explain how they feel.
MY THOUGHTS
so, do you have this constant need to be admired? do you have this feeling of self-importance that's way beyond normal? do you lack the capacity to feel for others, understand their situation and actually feel what they are feeling? then you really should be reading about 'how not to be a narcissist".
but if you are on the end of the spectrum and you find yourself dealing with an 'egomaniac', read over the tips very carefully.remember, being honest is still necessary but you can't win with a narcissist if you fight them off.
By Jessica Stillman | March 2, 2010
Poets might be known for their higher than average incidence of depression, but the world of business is famous for attracting those with another sort of psychological disorder; “psychologists have studied narcissistic traits in actors, chief executives and politicians, where such tendencies are all but built into the job description,” reports the NY Times.
What exactly is narcissism? According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association, the diagnosis involves, “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration and lack of empathy… a grandiose sense of self-importance.”
Of course, most cubicle dwellers are normal, empathetic people, but your chances of running into a narcissist is probably higher among high achieving business leaders than, say, at a convention of dentists or pre-school teachers. So how do you handle a narcissistic colleague or client when you meet one? A blog post by Karen Leland on Web Worker Daily offers five tips from Connie Dieken, author of the book Talk Less, Say More:
* Give them options. Beneath their bluster, narcissistic people fear being left out of the loop. They crave control. It’s far better to offer them options to choose from, rather than feeding them ready-made decisions. They’ll tear other people’s decisions to shreds. Giving them options helps them feel respected and in control. It also prevents nasty hissy fits.
* Focus on solutions, not problems. When you explain a problem or a challenge to a narcissist, direct their attention to the solution. Don’t allow them to dissect the problem over and over again. Narcissists love drama and revel in the chaos. They’re easily agitated when frustrated. Define problems and present possible solutions, so they don’t smell blood in the water and tear you apart.
* Make them the hero. Narcissists are preoccupied with power and truly believe they are special and unique. They live for attention and admiration. Want them to do something? Tell them how great they are at it and watch them perform. Better yet, praise their performance in front of others. Just keep it real, please.
* Let them think it’s their idea. Narcissists often steal the credit for ideas that aren’t theirs. Why do they do that? Strangely, they truly believe that hijacked results are their own. Grabbing credit is a driving force for them. If this gets things done, I say learn to live with it. Over time, everyone will catch on — wink, wink. Meantime, graciously transferring credit for ideas to them makes things happen.
* Manage their emotional blind spot. Egomaniacs lack empathy. They’re so caught up in their own world that it doesn’t occur to them to consider your feelings or viewpoints. It’s a huge blind spot. You must put your own feelings on the table, if you choose to do so. Just be smart about sharing feelings with a narcissist. Brace yourself for the guilt trips and disparaging criticism that narcissists often dole out when others explain how they feel.
MY THOUGHTS
so, do you have this constant need to be admired? do you have this feeling of self-importance that's way beyond normal? do you lack the capacity to feel for others, understand their situation and actually feel what they are feeling? then you really should be reading about 'how not to be a narcissist".
but if you are on the end of the spectrum and you find yourself dealing with an 'egomaniac', read over the tips very carefully.remember, being honest is still necessary but you can't win with a narcissist if you fight them off.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
SIGNS THAT YOUR JOB IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU
7 Signs You're in Over Your Head
By Steve Tobak | January 21, 2011
Nobody wants to believe they’re the problem. Why that is, I don’t know. But it’s far and away the stickiest issue that plagues organizations big and small. That’s why it keeps coming up again and again here.
In last year’s most clicked post - 7 Signs You May Be a Bad Manager - we talked about how most bad managers aren’t consciously aware that they are bad managers. That was news to a lot of people.
It seems that, while we talk about denial all the time, we don’t really understand what it means: that, on some level, we are aware of our behavior and our issues; we’re just not consciously aware. That requires a measure of self-awareness few of us possess.
As I alluded to at the time, this phenomenon isn’t at all limited to bosses, but applies to executives, managers, employees too. What that means is that, no matter who you are or what you do, you can be in over your head and not realize it.
As we all know, realizing a problem is the first step to resolving it. But, for those of you who still aren’t convinced that knowing the truth about your level of competency is a good thing, here’s a different way to say it: If you bury your head in the sand, you’ll likely suffocate. How’s that for motivation?
So pay attention to these 7 Signs You’re in Over Your Head
1. You’re more anxious and stressed-out than usual. Why is that a sign? Because, on some level, you’re aware that you’re in over your head and the disconnect between that awareness and the lie you keep consciously telling yourself - and others, in all likelihood - is causing you great anxiety and stress.
2. Goals you thought were reasonable now seem insurmountable. Congratulations, you’ve fallen victim to one of the most common pitfalls in the working world: pedestal thinking. Don’t feel too bad, it’s just god’s sick little gift to overachievers. Just remember that the next time your ego wants to write a check that your capability can’t cash.
3. You’re feeling depressed when you should be feeling fine. You’ve been given a chance, an opportunity to prove yourself, maybe even a promotion. You should be on top of the world … but you’re not. Again, that’s the disconnect talking. And maybe, just maybe, you can’t help but wonder if you haven’t been given just enough rope to hang yourself with.
4. Your schedule is constantly slipping. Maybe your budget, headcount, and capital requirements, too. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. And management’s starting to get really tired of it. Every time they ask, “Is that going to do it,” you say “Absolutely.” But you have no idea if that’s true or not. Dangerous game to play.
5. I can do this has turned into I’m going to do this if it kills me. Well, it probably won’t kill you, but it might set your career back a bit or even get you fired. The point is that there are diminishing returns when it comes to being so driven that you push yourself to do things you’re either not ready for or are not capable of doing. And frankly, nobody wins when you do that. Nobody.
6. You find yourself working even when you’re not … and shouldn’t be. You find yourself thinking about work at all times of the day and night? While you’re eating, sleeping, on weekends, even during sex? Working longer and longer hours but coming home with less and less accomplished? Yup, that’s a sign alright. Been there many times.
7. You’re screwing up … and you’re not a screw up. I know it sounds sort of obvious, but I can remember times when I made excuses for errors in judgment that I probably wouldn’t have made if I wasn’t stretched so thin or pushing the envelope. Why did I do that? I guess I’m not the sort of guy who gives up easily. But again, there comes a point when that can actually work against you.
Once you’ve recognized that you’re in over your head, what do you do about it? In a nutshell, it’s always a good idea to be honest with yourself and face the fact that maybe you need to get some help, i.e. fess up to your boss, ask for more time and resources, that sort of thing.
If you’re a young up-and-comer who’s just pushing the envelope, i.e. no pain no gain, I’d give you a pass for sticking your neck out and taking risks, as long as you learn from the experience and don’t make it a regular thing.
If this is chronic with you, then there’s a distinct possibility that you’ve risen to your level of incompetence, i.e. the Peter Principle. In that case, you might want to read What’s the One Thing Limiting Your Success? and deal with it.
MY THOUGHTS
this can happen. absolutely. you're not good. you're very,very good. in fact, you're excellent. all you past performances can back that up. so, here you are. in a new post. a new assignment. and you just can't hack it. believe, the signs outlined in this article? these are killers. and the more you postpone getting help, the risk that you're setting yourself up for failure gets higher and higher.
By Steve Tobak | January 21, 2011
Nobody wants to believe they’re the problem. Why that is, I don’t know. But it’s far and away the stickiest issue that plagues organizations big and small. That’s why it keeps coming up again and again here.
In last year’s most clicked post - 7 Signs You May Be a Bad Manager - we talked about how most bad managers aren’t consciously aware that they are bad managers. That was news to a lot of people.
It seems that, while we talk about denial all the time, we don’t really understand what it means: that, on some level, we are aware of our behavior and our issues; we’re just not consciously aware. That requires a measure of self-awareness few of us possess.
As I alluded to at the time, this phenomenon isn’t at all limited to bosses, but applies to executives, managers, employees too. What that means is that, no matter who you are or what you do, you can be in over your head and not realize it.
As we all know, realizing a problem is the first step to resolving it. But, for those of you who still aren’t convinced that knowing the truth about your level of competency is a good thing, here’s a different way to say it: If you bury your head in the sand, you’ll likely suffocate. How’s that for motivation?
So pay attention to these 7 Signs You’re in Over Your Head
1. You’re more anxious and stressed-out than usual. Why is that a sign? Because, on some level, you’re aware that you’re in over your head and the disconnect between that awareness and the lie you keep consciously telling yourself - and others, in all likelihood - is causing you great anxiety and stress.
2. Goals you thought were reasonable now seem insurmountable. Congratulations, you’ve fallen victim to one of the most common pitfalls in the working world: pedestal thinking. Don’t feel too bad, it’s just god’s sick little gift to overachievers. Just remember that the next time your ego wants to write a check that your capability can’t cash.
3. You’re feeling depressed when you should be feeling fine. You’ve been given a chance, an opportunity to prove yourself, maybe even a promotion. You should be on top of the world … but you’re not. Again, that’s the disconnect talking. And maybe, just maybe, you can’t help but wonder if you haven’t been given just enough rope to hang yourself with.
4. Your schedule is constantly slipping. Maybe your budget, headcount, and capital requirements, too. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. And management’s starting to get really tired of it. Every time they ask, “Is that going to do it,” you say “Absolutely.” But you have no idea if that’s true or not. Dangerous game to play.
5. I can do this has turned into I’m going to do this if it kills me. Well, it probably won’t kill you, but it might set your career back a bit or even get you fired. The point is that there are diminishing returns when it comes to being so driven that you push yourself to do things you’re either not ready for or are not capable of doing. And frankly, nobody wins when you do that. Nobody.
6. You find yourself working even when you’re not … and shouldn’t be. You find yourself thinking about work at all times of the day and night? While you’re eating, sleeping, on weekends, even during sex? Working longer and longer hours but coming home with less and less accomplished? Yup, that’s a sign alright. Been there many times.
7. You’re screwing up … and you’re not a screw up. I know it sounds sort of obvious, but I can remember times when I made excuses for errors in judgment that I probably wouldn’t have made if I wasn’t stretched so thin or pushing the envelope. Why did I do that? I guess I’m not the sort of guy who gives up easily. But again, there comes a point when that can actually work against you.
Once you’ve recognized that you’re in over your head, what do you do about it? In a nutshell, it’s always a good idea to be honest with yourself and face the fact that maybe you need to get some help, i.e. fess up to your boss, ask for more time and resources, that sort of thing.
If you’re a young up-and-comer who’s just pushing the envelope, i.e. no pain no gain, I’d give you a pass for sticking your neck out and taking risks, as long as you learn from the experience and don’t make it a regular thing.
If this is chronic with you, then there’s a distinct possibility that you’ve risen to your level of incompetence, i.e. the Peter Principle. In that case, you might want to read What’s the One Thing Limiting Your Success? and deal with it.
MY THOUGHTS
this can happen. absolutely. you're not good. you're very,very good. in fact, you're excellent. all you past performances can back that up. so, here you are. in a new post. a new assignment. and you just can't hack it. believe, the signs outlined in this article? these are killers. and the more you postpone getting help, the risk that you're setting yourself up for failure gets higher and higher.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Win Over Your Boss
How to Win Over Your Boss
By Steve Tobak | January 20, 2011
In Getting a New Boss? Interview Again for Your Job, career coach Priscilla Claman outlines three steps to get yourself “rehired,” as she calls it. Since BNET blogger Sean Silverthorne called her advice “absolutely brilliant,” I thought I’d check out the three steps:
1. Update your resume.
2. Set up a meeting.
3. Present yourself.
Now, I happen to think that this sort of “me-centric” approach can easily backfire. But, the original post does have some decent points and Claman herself has a disclaimer at the end, “I find that the higher up you are, the less successful the “rehiring” method is.”
In any case, if your boss isn’t behind you 100 percent, it can make your life miserable. Believe it or not, you can win him over just by asking a few questions that show him you “get it” and are management or senior management material. Whether he’s newly promoted, newly hired, the result of a merger or acquisition, or has been your boss forever, here are:
10 Simple Questions That Will Win Over Your Boss
1. Ask what he thinks you can do to be more effective.
2. Ask what her top three priorities or goals are.
3. Ask what you can do to make him more effective.
4. Ask what you can do to make the team more effective.
5. Ask if he’s interested in knowing what will make your job easier.
6. Ask what her take is on the company’s top priorities and goals.
7. Ask what he thinks you should do differently or improve upon to be more effective.
8. Ask if she’d like to meet periodically, one-on-one, and if so, how frequently and what format would she like the meeting to take. Then set it up.
9. Ask what his philosophy is on your shared functional responsibility, whatever that is, i.e. marketing, HR, IT, engineering, finance.
10. And, if the meeting’s open-form and you feel it’s appropriate, ask about her background. Most people like to talk about themselves and how they got there, as long as they don’t feel like they’re being grilled, pumped for information, or played in some way.
In case it isn’t obvious, you don’t just plop down in your boss’s office with a notepad and start an inquisition. Ask for a one-on-one meeting because you’d like to know what you can do to be more effective and help him be more effective, wherein you ask a few questions, as appropriate, etc.
And, contrary to the aforementioned HBR advice, do not tell her about your role and your team. Instead, ask if she’d like to hear your perspective on your and your team’s role. If she says, “absolutely,” then set it up. But I still say it’s better to ask for her perspective on your and your team’s role. Get the difference?
And whatever you do, don’t present yourself, your resume, or your achievements either. Frankly, your boss, new or old, isn’t primarily interested in any of that stuff. He’s primarily interested in meeting his objectives and helping his boss meet hers.
The closer you come to demonstrating that that’s your priority as well, the sooner you’ll win him over because you “get it.” And the sooner you’ll be viewed as management or senior management material.
MY THOUGHTS
hmmm. food for thought. calls for some heavy thinking. i remember asking a new boss what my job description was. he said - "NONE". i wanted to resign right then and there. i stayed. wise decision. he said he didn't want to limit what i can do by having a list of tasks. i figured, from where he's from, the term "perform other tasks that may be assigned" does not appear in JDs. demanding as he was, he was also very wise. true enough, my stint with him proved to be very rewarding. there was no limit to what he wanted to achieve. i worked along side him. in other words, i won him over. and he won me over,too.
By Steve Tobak | January 20, 2011
In Getting a New Boss? Interview Again for Your Job, career coach Priscilla Claman outlines three steps to get yourself “rehired,” as she calls it. Since BNET blogger Sean Silverthorne called her advice “absolutely brilliant,” I thought I’d check out the three steps:
1. Update your resume.
2. Set up a meeting.
3. Present yourself.
Now, I happen to think that this sort of “me-centric” approach can easily backfire. But, the original post does have some decent points and Claman herself has a disclaimer at the end, “I find that the higher up you are, the less successful the “rehiring” method is.”
In any case, if your boss isn’t behind you 100 percent, it can make your life miserable. Believe it or not, you can win him over just by asking a few questions that show him you “get it” and are management or senior management material. Whether he’s newly promoted, newly hired, the result of a merger or acquisition, or has been your boss forever, here are:
10 Simple Questions That Will Win Over Your Boss
1. Ask what he thinks you can do to be more effective.
2. Ask what her top three priorities or goals are.
3. Ask what you can do to make him more effective.
4. Ask what you can do to make the team more effective.
5. Ask if he’s interested in knowing what will make your job easier.
6. Ask what her take is on the company’s top priorities and goals.
7. Ask what he thinks you should do differently or improve upon to be more effective.
8. Ask if she’d like to meet periodically, one-on-one, and if so, how frequently and what format would she like the meeting to take. Then set it up.
9. Ask what his philosophy is on your shared functional responsibility, whatever that is, i.e. marketing, HR, IT, engineering, finance.
10. And, if the meeting’s open-form and you feel it’s appropriate, ask about her background. Most people like to talk about themselves and how they got there, as long as they don’t feel like they’re being grilled, pumped for information, or played in some way.
In case it isn’t obvious, you don’t just plop down in your boss’s office with a notepad and start an inquisition. Ask for a one-on-one meeting because you’d like to know what you can do to be more effective and help him be more effective, wherein you ask a few questions, as appropriate, etc.
And, contrary to the aforementioned HBR advice, do not tell her about your role and your team. Instead, ask if she’d like to hear your perspective on your and your team’s role. If she says, “absolutely,” then set it up. But I still say it’s better to ask for her perspective on your and your team’s role. Get the difference?
And whatever you do, don’t present yourself, your resume, or your achievements either. Frankly, your boss, new or old, isn’t primarily interested in any of that stuff. He’s primarily interested in meeting his objectives and helping his boss meet hers.
The closer you come to demonstrating that that’s your priority as well, the sooner you’ll win him over because you “get it.” And the sooner you’ll be viewed as management or senior management material.
MY THOUGHTS
hmmm. food for thought. calls for some heavy thinking. i remember asking a new boss what my job description was. he said - "NONE". i wanted to resign right then and there. i stayed. wise decision. he said he didn't want to limit what i can do by having a list of tasks. i figured, from where he's from, the term "perform other tasks that may be assigned" does not appear in JDs. demanding as he was, he was also very wise. true enough, my stint with him proved to be very rewarding. there was no limit to what he wanted to achieve. i worked along side him. in other words, i won him over. and he won me over,too.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Things We Wish We Could Tell the Boss
7 Things We All Wish We Could Tell the Boss
http://www.bnet.com/photos/7-things-we-all-wish-we-could-tell-the-boss/490886?tag=trunk
By Dave Logan
I’ve visited dozens of companies in 2010 and keep hearing the same message: the person at the top is clueless and unwilling to change. As a result, employees spend absurd amounts of time managing around him (it’s usually a him). It’s not just the Emperor Has No Clothes. It’s that the Emperor Has No Clothes and Looks Funny Naked. But if you had the courage to have these conversations with the man in charge, you could transform the lackluster leader into a great one, and boost the company's bottom line in the process.
1. You're nothing like Lincoln, Churchill or Clinton.
Nothing is funnier, or more tragic, than a mediocre leader who thinks he’s Lincoln, or Churchill or Clinton. And nothing is a greater waste of time than when an “idiot boss” (thanks, Scott Adams) tries to fine-tune his style by reading about the Greats.
A much better use of time would be for someone with credibility to sit down with the CEO and say, “You’re like none of those people, but if you work really hard, you could become a great leader in your own right.”
The great leaders are all originals. Although many were amateur historians (or in Churchill’s case, professional), they didn’t become the people they were by copying behaviors from people in the past. They became great by finding a way to serve people in their time, and in the process, became leaders.
2. Guess what? YOU are the problem.
Imagine this conversation.
Him: Why isn't the company more innovative?
You : Because you, the CEO, drown us in initiatives, metrics, and plans, and so we don’t have any time.
Him: Why isn't the organization more successful?
You: Because the strategy you want us to pursue is inept, compared to what we could do if you got out of the way.
Him: Why isn't the company a great place to work?
You: Because you’re creating an atmosphere of fear and intimidation.
The single question I’m asked more than any other is: “Can we use the principles of Tribal Leadership when the top person doesn’t get it but thinks he does?” The short-term answer is to create a pocket of tribal greatness, and let the results show that a new way of leading makes everyone win. The long-term answer is that the person at the top needs to get it, or get out.
3. You put a new thing on my 'to do' list. What are you taking off?
I often repeat a story from the darkest days of the U.S. automotive industry, when a major subcontractor to the Big Three held its managers accountable for well over 100 metrics. That story used to make people laugh. Over the last few years, the reaction has turned into, “so what do we do about that?”
Drucker was a fan of the idea of “purposeful abandonment”—determining which activities will be stopped. My friend David Allen, author of Getting Things Done, likes to say that a person’s success can be measured by looking at how long their “stop doing list” is. The same holds for companies. Most people, and most companies, don’t have a “stop doing list” at all.
CEOs should know that their followers measure them, in large part, by how many metrics and initiatives they purposefully abandon. In most cases, that’s zero.
4. If the employees don't understand the strategy, it's your fault.
Often in executive seminars I’ll go through the “must have” list for corporate competence, and then ask people which item on the list they are most concerned about. (One of the better lists is Jay Galbraith’s STAR model.) Almost always, number one is “strategy,” as in “do we have one?” and “ask 100 people and you’ll get 100 answers of what our strategy is.” I also hear, “the CEO thinks our strategy is the tag line from our ads.”
A strategy, by the way, is “the creation of a unique and valuable proposition” to the market, according to Michael Porter. If employees can’t say what that the unique value proposition is, the CEO has failed.
In most cases, the CEO would retort, “we have a strategy, they just aren’t listening to what it is.”
What’s the problem here?
It’s not about how the strategy is communicated, it’s about the listening that creates the strategy in first place. Anne Mulcahy tells the story of what happened when she assumed the role of president and COO of Xerox. It came down to listening to everyone: employees, customers, and suppliers. She didn’t check her brain at the door and merely combine what they said into the strategy. She checked it against everything she knew about the markets, and she also listened to advice from experts. The result from that long process was a strategy that was clear, concise, and that made people around Xerox say, “yes, that’s right!” If your company doesn’t have that kind of a strategy, the blame rests at the top.
5. You don't build loyalty by blaming employees.
Many CEOs try to send the message “you and I have a special relationship” by bad-mouthing other executives. The result? The message people hear is “I’ll throw anyone under the bus. The minute you’re out of favor, I’ll do the same to you.”
Great leaders throw themselves under the bus by taking responsibility for any failure in the company. When the company succeeds, it’s due to others.
6. Your staff will regard your tenure as the bad old days.
Most large companies remember a time when they had boundless energy and felt the potential of greatness knocking at the door. That was before the bullies, brats, and bureaucrats took over.
Most CEOs talk a lot about problems that they’ve solved. But the reality is that the overall vibrancy and vitality of the company is collapsing. People hunger for a leader who will really do things the right way. And until you learn that, you’re just another person steering the ship into the sand.
I should add that most CEOs are good people, wanting the best for their companies. So why does the Emperor Have No Clothes and Look Funny Naked?
It’s due to a variety of factors, including that organizations, by their design, limit or stop upward feedback. Most CEOs become increasingly isolated and cut off from the real issues and so their decisions become increasingly out of touch. Another reason is “CEO shuffle”—hiring from outside the company, based on competency and not shared values, so that the new person comes in with an agenda to change everything. Most successful CEOs in our study were home-grown and promoted from within.
7. Great leaders listen and you don’t.
Any questions?
Ever wanted to have this conversation and didn’t? I hope you’ll let me know, by email or in the comments below.
MY THOUGHTS
bosses! who is not having (or did not have) problems with a boss? one way or the other,at some point in time, we have whined and complained (and probably moved jobs) because we have an incompetent, dictatorial, unfeeling, inhuman, *&#$% boss. don't you get it? the problem is not the boss. it's you. first of all, if "the boss" is that insufferable what are you still doing there? if you have nowhere else to go, then don't you think you owe the hateful boss? he hasn't fired you, has he? even if no one else will hire you!!!
we dream (and probably having nightmares) about that time when we can tell our boss exactly what kind of boss he is. you think that's not possible? think again. it can happen. you can do it. but you have to play your cards right.
i once worked for a man, a brilliant, frustrating man that everyone hated. just the sound of his name made people want to crawl under the desk and never come out. he pushed and he pushed. with ideas that went completely way over your head.it was so frustrating the first thing i do when i get to work is print out a resignation letter with a new date.
guess what? if you ask me, the highlights of my career were those years i worked with the man. i did things i never thought possible. he inspired me to accomplish things that no one else can accomplish for him. he made me forget about titles and job descriptions. he showed me that i am limited only by what i think i can do.
how did it happen? i let him be my boss! obedience is the first key. he was the boss, not me. as soon as i accepted that, i saw him for what he is. a hard, no non-sense, whirlwind boss whose motivations are never questionable. someone to be respected. that allowed me to focus on my work(instead of wasting time thinking of ways to oust him).
that showed him i can be respected, too.as a professional and as a person. i didn't have to dream of telling him exactly what kind of boss he was. he asked. and he always valued my opinion.
http://www.bnet.com/photos/7-things-we-all-wish-we-could-tell-the-boss/490886?tag=trunk
By Dave Logan
I’ve visited dozens of companies in 2010 and keep hearing the same message: the person at the top is clueless and unwilling to change. As a result, employees spend absurd amounts of time managing around him (it’s usually a him). It’s not just the Emperor Has No Clothes. It’s that the Emperor Has No Clothes and Looks Funny Naked. But if you had the courage to have these conversations with the man in charge, you could transform the lackluster leader into a great one, and boost the company's bottom line in the process.
1. You're nothing like Lincoln, Churchill or Clinton.
Nothing is funnier, or more tragic, than a mediocre leader who thinks he’s Lincoln, or Churchill or Clinton. And nothing is a greater waste of time than when an “idiot boss” (thanks, Scott Adams) tries to fine-tune his style by reading about the Greats.
A much better use of time would be for someone with credibility to sit down with the CEO and say, “You’re like none of those people, but if you work really hard, you could become a great leader in your own right.”
The great leaders are all originals. Although many were amateur historians (or in Churchill’s case, professional), they didn’t become the people they were by copying behaviors from people in the past. They became great by finding a way to serve people in their time, and in the process, became leaders.
2. Guess what? YOU are the problem.
Imagine this conversation.
Him: Why isn't the company more innovative?
You : Because you, the CEO, drown us in initiatives, metrics, and plans, and so we don’t have any time.
Him: Why isn't the organization more successful?
You: Because the strategy you want us to pursue is inept, compared to what we could do if you got out of the way.
Him: Why isn't the company a great place to work?
You: Because you’re creating an atmosphere of fear and intimidation.
The single question I’m asked more than any other is: “Can we use the principles of Tribal Leadership when the top person doesn’t get it but thinks he does?” The short-term answer is to create a pocket of tribal greatness, and let the results show that a new way of leading makes everyone win. The long-term answer is that the person at the top needs to get it, or get out.
3. You put a new thing on my 'to do' list. What are you taking off?
I often repeat a story from the darkest days of the U.S. automotive industry, when a major subcontractor to the Big Three held its managers accountable for well over 100 metrics. That story used to make people laugh. Over the last few years, the reaction has turned into, “so what do we do about that?”
Drucker was a fan of the idea of “purposeful abandonment”—determining which activities will be stopped. My friend David Allen, author of Getting Things Done, likes to say that a person’s success can be measured by looking at how long their “stop doing list” is. The same holds for companies. Most people, and most companies, don’t have a “stop doing list” at all.
CEOs should know that their followers measure them, in large part, by how many metrics and initiatives they purposefully abandon. In most cases, that’s zero.
4. If the employees don't understand the strategy, it's your fault.
Often in executive seminars I’ll go through the “must have” list for corporate competence, and then ask people which item on the list they are most concerned about. (One of the better lists is Jay Galbraith’s STAR model.) Almost always, number one is “strategy,” as in “do we have one?” and “ask 100 people and you’ll get 100 answers of what our strategy is.” I also hear, “the CEO thinks our strategy is the tag line from our ads.”
A strategy, by the way, is “the creation of a unique and valuable proposition” to the market, according to Michael Porter. If employees can’t say what that the unique value proposition is, the CEO has failed.
In most cases, the CEO would retort, “we have a strategy, they just aren’t listening to what it is.”
What’s the problem here?
It’s not about how the strategy is communicated, it’s about the listening that creates the strategy in first place. Anne Mulcahy tells the story of what happened when she assumed the role of president and COO of Xerox. It came down to listening to everyone: employees, customers, and suppliers. She didn’t check her brain at the door and merely combine what they said into the strategy. She checked it against everything she knew about the markets, and she also listened to advice from experts. The result from that long process was a strategy that was clear, concise, and that made people around Xerox say, “yes, that’s right!” If your company doesn’t have that kind of a strategy, the blame rests at the top.
5. You don't build loyalty by blaming employees.
Many CEOs try to send the message “you and I have a special relationship” by bad-mouthing other executives. The result? The message people hear is “I’ll throw anyone under the bus. The minute you’re out of favor, I’ll do the same to you.”
Great leaders throw themselves under the bus by taking responsibility for any failure in the company. When the company succeeds, it’s due to others.
6. Your staff will regard your tenure as the bad old days.
Most large companies remember a time when they had boundless energy and felt the potential of greatness knocking at the door. That was before the bullies, brats, and bureaucrats took over.
Most CEOs talk a lot about problems that they’ve solved. But the reality is that the overall vibrancy and vitality of the company is collapsing. People hunger for a leader who will really do things the right way. And until you learn that, you’re just another person steering the ship into the sand.
I should add that most CEOs are good people, wanting the best for their companies. So why does the Emperor Have No Clothes and Look Funny Naked?
It’s due to a variety of factors, including that organizations, by their design, limit or stop upward feedback. Most CEOs become increasingly isolated and cut off from the real issues and so their decisions become increasingly out of touch. Another reason is “CEO shuffle”—hiring from outside the company, based on competency and not shared values, so that the new person comes in with an agenda to change everything. Most successful CEOs in our study were home-grown and promoted from within.
7. Great leaders listen and you don’t.
Any questions?
Ever wanted to have this conversation and didn’t? I hope you’ll let me know, by email or in the comments below.
MY THOUGHTS
bosses! who is not having (or did not have) problems with a boss? one way or the other,at some point in time, we have whined and complained (and probably moved jobs) because we have an incompetent, dictatorial, unfeeling, inhuman, *&#$% boss. don't you get it? the problem is not the boss. it's you. first of all, if "the boss" is that insufferable what are you still doing there? if you have nowhere else to go, then don't you think you owe the hateful boss? he hasn't fired you, has he? even if no one else will hire you!!!
we dream (and probably having nightmares) about that time when we can tell our boss exactly what kind of boss he is. you think that's not possible? think again. it can happen. you can do it. but you have to play your cards right.
i once worked for a man, a brilliant, frustrating man that everyone hated. just the sound of his name made people want to crawl under the desk and never come out. he pushed and he pushed. with ideas that went completely way over your head.it was so frustrating the first thing i do when i get to work is print out a resignation letter with a new date.
guess what? if you ask me, the highlights of my career were those years i worked with the man. i did things i never thought possible. he inspired me to accomplish things that no one else can accomplish for him. he made me forget about titles and job descriptions. he showed me that i am limited only by what i think i can do.
how did it happen? i let him be my boss! obedience is the first key. he was the boss, not me. as soon as i accepted that, i saw him for what he is. a hard, no non-sense, whirlwind boss whose motivations are never questionable. someone to be respected. that allowed me to focus on my work(instead of wasting time thinking of ways to oust him).
that showed him i can be respected, too.as a professional and as a person. i didn't have to dream of telling him exactly what kind of boss he was. he asked. and he always valued my opinion.
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